Monthly Archives: June 2013

I am NOT a second class citizen

Hi, my name is Iris and I am a cat. Bella and I have the same people and I am here to tell you that Mom does not like dogs better then cats. Cats are NOT second class citizens. We are superior! Ask any cat and they will tell you the same thing.

Bella will tell you that they can go outside any time they want. She thinks we are being punished because we have to stay inside. We have liter boxes inside to take care of our business. It is 115 degrees outside right now. Need I say more? I don’t think so.

Bella complains about going to the groomers every couple of months and I do feel sorry for her. Groomers are evil and they do cruel things to dogs. The very thought of being put in a tub of warm water is the thing that gives cats nightmares. Most cats don’t have to worry about going to a groomer. Why? Very simple. We groom ourselves. I personally bathe several times a day. If Bella would bathe herself even once a day she wouldn’t have to worry about the evils of groomers. But dogs can’t be bothered.

Another thing is that Bella thinks she is sooooooo cute because she twirls around in a circle. She also has a temper like the Tazmanian Devil. However, I have heard my mom tell her on several occasions that her temper was not cute. People do not like to be snapped at, ever. Okay, yes mom thinks that the twirling thing is cute and it makes her laugh. But then mom is only human.

I know I am cute. Mom tells me so all the time. I can bathe with my back leg. I hold it with my front paws and guide the back leg over my body as I wash. Mom loves it when i do my ears. Even total strangers have told me I was cute.

About the toilet paper issue. I have to do something to calm me down and shredding toilet paper is harmless. I could take my temper out on the dogs instead. Hey, thats a good idea. Watch out Bella. Anyway I can’t do that any more because mom has a special container with a lid that snaps shut to protect her toilet paper. Sigh.

Never mind. Look there is mom’s special chair! Ready claws? This should be fun.

Iris is in trouble?

Mom says that Iris is in the dog house and she is starting to get mad. I don’t understand this for several reasons.

First being in the dog house is a treat not a punishment. I don’t spend much time in the dog house but I enjoy myself when I am in there. One time when I thought my mom was mad at me I went in the dog house because it felt safe. Turned out that mom wasn’t mad at me at all. She just accidentally dropped something and thought it was going to hit me so she yelled for me to watch out. Boy did I get spoiled when I finally came out. My sister Samantha spends hours in the dog house.

Second, Iris is a cat and cats are NOT allowed in the dog house. It is called a dog house for a reason. Also cats are second class citizens and they are not allowed outside. Dogs are superior and can go outside anytime.

Third, Iris lives in our bed room and never comes out. She just feels safe in there because some of our other cats pick on her. Even through Iris is a cat I feel sorry for her a little bit. Don’t tell her that though because it is hard enough to keep her in her place.

So, why is mom mad at Iris? Because when Iris gets mad at my mom she shreds the Toilet paper. Iris is upset about mom working overtime and so when mom came home the other day there was little pieces of toilet paper all over the bed room and bath room. Mom tries to keep the toilet paper out of reach, but somehow Iris seems to get it down and watch out.

I have a secret. I love to play with it as well. So once it is down on the floor and mom isn’t looking I help to tear in into pieces. However when mom asks I always say the cat did it.

Mom and overtime.

My people is doing something at work called overtime. That means spending more time at work and less time with me. I am hurt. Does she like work better then she likes me? Take today for instance. It is Saturday. On Saturday we always get up early so us dogs can go out and do our business then we go back to bed for a couple hours. But today she went to work for five hours.

Mom says that she has to do overtime when it is available because she needs the money. She still has some bills from when she had her cancer. I don’t understand what bills and money are or why they are important. She says that money helps her get things that we need including doggy treats. It’s true that she brought home some chicken nuggets to share with us for lunch and that was nice. But I would rather have mom home then a chicken nugget. Better still I want both.

Mom says that the only way that I can have both is if i find a way to make money so she doesn’t have to work. I think people should just give me money because I am so cute.

I guess I shouldn’t complain. My cousin Tristan is having a worse time. His grandpa Thurmon is sick and in the hospital so his dad and mom are spending all their time at the hospital. Take last for example. Tristan’s dad spent all night at the hospital and now both his mom and dad have been gone for hours. Poor Tristan has spent hours by the front door waiting for them to come home.

People think that they go through some rough times, but dogs lives are harder. We love our people through.

She did it again

Grrrrrrrrrr woof woof. My people doesn’t like me to use this kind of language, but when you know what she did this time you will understand.

There I was Friday morning cuddling with my people and trying to convince her to stay home from work. What could be better. When all of a sudden the peace was broken. Mom says “oh, Samantha you are getting groomed tomorrow. You get to go see Cindy.” You would think that Sam would be upset, but oh no, she was excited and started to smile.

Now you can’t blame Samantha. She is old ( almost 12 ) and isn’t with it any more. She has old dog disease and is almost always happy. I think that she is insane because she likes Cindy and the other groomers. I know better.

Anyway, now I was worried and scared. In 24 hours I would be going to the groomers. All I could do was worry. The groomers are very cruel and sadistic people. They like to give dogs baths, BATHS!! It is so mean. And then they dry you off. Just when you think you are safe they start combing your hair. I hate having my hair combed and I tell them this every time my people brings me here. I bark and snarl and growl. I try to bite and snap. But they just laugh at me. They are so dense.

All people are dense, but my people is the worst. I have mentioned several time that I hate to be groomed. I know my people reads my blog but does she take the hint. Most of the time she is wonderful and I love her. However, she still takes me to the groomers. I think she can be mean sometimes.

I don’t understand my people

I just don’t understand my people. She does the strangest things sometimes and they don’t make any sense. Take today for example. She said that she had to go someplace and be scanned by cats. She actually paid them $35.00 so that some strange cat could scan her.

What does scan mean anyway? I looked it up in the dictionary and it said it means to glance at something.

Now we have 9 cats. That’s right nine of them. They not only scan her for free, but they try to cuddle with her all the time.

I have mentioned it before and I can’t say it enough. I don’t like cats. They are everywhere. I try to get a drink and there is a cat. I try to get some food and there is a cat. I try to go outside and there are cats everywhere trying to get out. Now cats are lower class animals so they aren’t allowed outside like dogs. They have to use a little box.

Last night I tried to cuddle with my mom and two cats were already there cuddling with her. That is my place and I told them to leave. Who got yelled at? You guessed it. It was me. I try so hard to made the cats behave and I am the one that gets in trouble all the time. I just don’t understand my people.

%d bloggers like this: